Greetings, alien from Saturn! You have stepped in the online abode of Andy Lim, which houses his/her mindless musings and lovely rantings.
You're obviously permitted to have a look around, but of course, itchy fingers aren't entertained - so don't take what's not yours. ;)
Andy
twenty/20
1st July 1991
CANCER
MALE
NPCC
Cadet Inspector
1A01, 2A03, 3A07
Temesak Polytechinc
Business School
Accounting and Finance
Past:
Siglap Secondary School
1E3,2E4,3E1,4E5
NPCC: SSGT
JOKES ......
Thursday, November 23, 2006 @ 4:28 PM

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut Geylang. May I have your..."
Customer : "Haloo, arh...can I orler huh..."
Operator : "Can I have your Future Card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's arh..., hold on prease, arh... S6102-0499-54610FC"
Operator : "OK... you're... Tan Ah Beng alias 'Or Kwee Tao' and you're calling from 17-D
Lorong 14, Geylang. Your home number is 6782 8828,your office 6782 8838
and your mobile is 96828848. Which number are you calling from now Sir?
Customer: "Home lah! Wah Lan...How you get all my phone lumbers, arh?"
Operator : "We are connected to the 'FutureCard' system Sir"
Customer: "OK lah, okay lah...Can I orler your Seafood Pisar..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "Why....Cannot arh?"
Operator : "According to your latest medical records, you have high blood pressure and
even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?...Wah Lan!....medical lecords also hab... you lecommend lah?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "Wah...How you know I like Hokkien mee,arh?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes"from the National
Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK...OK...Buay Ta Han liow... I give up... Gif me three family sized ones
then, how much arh?
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $45..."
Customer: "I pay by FutureCard...Can or Not ?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and
you're owing your bank $6720.55- since October last year"
Customer: "Karn Nee Neh!... Everything also know...chiat lat!"
Operator : "That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan Sir.
Customer: "Okay lah... I run to ATM and withdraw some cash before you come my house
lor"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on
machine withdrawal today... with the latest withdrawal of $250 for 4D and
TOTO at 2.46pm"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I borrow money from my Ah Mah. How long
arh?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect
it on your motorcycle... it'll be ready in 15 mins and you are only 5 mins
away"
Customer: "Where got transport?"
Operator : "According to the details in your FutureCard", you own a Honda Scooter,...
registration number FE 3288..."
Customer: "Karn Nee Neh!"
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were
convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?"
Customer: [Speechless and calms down after being reminded of the brush with the law]
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... still got stock of that 3 free bottles of cola as
advertised or not?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic... "
Customer: [ Heard cursing away as he slams down the phone and telling his family he is
going to the Hawker Centre to 'Tar Pow'